The Weird Internet

Some of the things I've stumbled onto this week:

God love that Pig

Astounding facts you need to know:

A short note on the content: This is not my own original material, this list has been doing the rounds on the internet and as an email joke for some time, I just like it a lot and thought I'd post it up here on Stone the Crows Mate! This is for the benefit of those who may not have seen it yet, I'm sure it will give you a chuckle.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.(Creepy) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home . What the...?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still can't believe that pig ...quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm.......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts. (and God love that pig!)..

Childbirth Pain Transferred from Mother to Father

A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered...

... Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they arrived home, the postman was dead on their porch.

A Random Collection of Funny Stuff from the Internet #1

The first collection of funny stuff, weird, odd, unusual, and odd posts I've found in my online travels

Idiots on the Internet

There is no shortage of idiots online, here are a few examples:

Australian Town Becomes First in World to Ban Bottled Water

The town of Bundanoon, Australia is now the world’s first bottled-water-free town.

This caught my eye the other day. I have to wonder what's in the natural water in Bundanoon? I'm tipping that this is a pure angle to increase tourism traffic to the little southern highlands township cleverly disguised as environmental concern and community solidarity. Nonetheless my hat goes off to them for getting noticed on the world stage regardless of the motivation.

I was last in Bundanoon when I was about 19 years old, looking at the photo's on the promo site for this initiative, I can say it's not much changed. The town is well worth a visit if you're down that way. The southern highlands is a breath of fresh air in all and I'd suggest it's a great place for a dirty weekend for Sydney folks weary of the big smoke and all the usual Sydney BS.

"Over 350 people attended a public meeting at town hall, where community members voted overwhelmingly to ban bottled water. According to news reports, just one person voted against the ban."

A Bundanoon grassroots campaign called Bundy on Tap, couldn’t be happier. They’ve been working since March 2008, when the organization began, to ban single-use plastic bottles of water.

Recently, when a drink company announced that they would soon tap an underground reservoir in town in order to bottle and sell the water in Sydney, even more community members came on board with the concept to ban bottled h2o. “The company has been looking to extract water locally, bottle it in Sydney and bring it back here to sell it,” John Dee, a local campaigner, said. “It made people look at the environmental impact of bottled water and the community has been quite vocal about it.” Dee added, “We believe Bundanoon is the world’s first town that has got its retailers to ban bottled water.”

http://bundyontap.com.au/

Because I'm a Man

Because I'm a man, When a woman says to me: "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"

This article is an expansion on an old email joke that was doing the rounds back in the early 90's.

The blog post is a work in progress so If you're visiting please make any suggestion you like towards expanded content, I'm all for filling this one out to it's limits!

http://www.squidoo.com/because-im-a-man

A Collection of Demotivators

Demotivational Posters, get demotivated.

Pretty much the opposite of motivator posters, funny stuff If you've never seen one ;-)

I've posted an article on Demotivators over at Squidoo that's worth a quick look: http://www.squidoo.com/what-is-a-demotivator-

Here's a quick video compilation of a whole bunch of demotivators if you don't want to scroll down through this page. The music in this video is "Shine" by a great Aussie band Ice Jupiter Groove.

Here is a random selection of Demotivators from my huge collection in no particular order: